I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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