honey bunches of taint.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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