Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
