and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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