can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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