WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize