butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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