I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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