I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
