I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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