your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
