if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sobbing to NWA
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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