I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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