im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
