we're blogging at a bar
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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