I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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