it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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