He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
