I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
