guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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