dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
