don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
