I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
