My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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