Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
