you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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