I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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