Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
