Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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