Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
