i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
