I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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