Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
