if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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