I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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