Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
