Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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