you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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