The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
