Can i not drive my cunt home
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I look better un-naked...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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