I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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