what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
