There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
