when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
