Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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