I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
