That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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