Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
