There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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