like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize