Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
