Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
