Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
