i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
