remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
