go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
