also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
