i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
