i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
