I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We named our party play list daddy issues
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
