First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize