My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
