he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
